My pleasure to be closing the Blog Tour, organised by Bookollective, for When Dad Became Joan by Cath Lloyd today and very happy to be able to share an excerpt with you, along with all the other links you'll need to help you find out more about this honest and enlightening book.
Although she wanted to be supportive, Cath didn't want to lose her dad, and it was hard to accept his decision. In those days, asking for help wasn't the norm, and gender issues like this were swept under the carpet. Throughout the years of emotional, conflicting and tormenting thought processes, Cath wondered if life was ever going to feel normal again.
We all have a story about coming to terms with change, whether this is transgender reassignment, separation, divorce, loss, grief, illness, disability or living through another trauma. As we live through our story, we do the best we can with the strategies we have at our disposal. Sometimes these are not enough and we have to search long and hard to find alternatives.
That's where Cath's book will help you. She shares 7 of the strategies that helped with her family challenges. These can support you too, whatever difficulties you're facing in your life.
With self-help tools that focus on topics like your values, self-honesty and positivity, you'll develop a plan of action to support you through the difficult times. This will help you to understand, acknowledge, and accept what needs to happen to move forward and live your new normal. These strategies are those which Cath uses now with her clients as a life style change and stress relief life coach.
Published by Librotas
Time for the excerpt! Enjoy!!
Dad leaned forward in an attempt to close the physical and emotional crater
I could feel widening between us. I guess the pressure to do what he had just
done must have been immense. And then he asked me the million-dollar
question: “Do you have any questions?”
As my head started spinning, I knew I had masses of them but my head
was so mixed up I couldn’t even begin to think what they were, so I weakly
But what my head was really saying was, if I don’t agree with it, what will
happen? Will it all stop and go away or will something worse happen? I don’t
want this to happen – but I don’t want my dad to be so unhappy that he tries
to end his life anyway. In fact, there was one other really big question in my
mind, the one that probably mattered more than most. It was:
If you become somebody else, who will you be to me?
As two internally reflective thinkers, we sat like strangers with nothing
more to say to each other. Dad waited for more. I looked at his hands, still
clasped. The clock on the wall ticked. The trees in the garden waved in the
breeze. In a matter of minutes the life I had taken for granted had changed
I got up to go without a word and I was silently ushered out of the office. As
I passed Mum in the kitchen, there was nothing we could find to say to each
other. We were all roaming around in our own thoughts. When I left the
house that day to go to see Nick, my parents felt like strangers to me.
The last words that we exchanged at the front door I have never forgotten.
“Cath, at the moment this is just between close family members, so, besides
Nick, please keep this to yourself.” There were no hugs or kisses. No suggestion
of when I would be home next. As I tried desperately hard to avoid eye
contact my mum looked close to tears. My dad’s face held a sense of foreboding:
like, what now?
The burden of keeping the family secret had begun.
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